As I listen to "बेकस पे करम कीजिए" yet another time, my mind drifts from the music to the context of the song. My chest sort of starts to cave when I begin to think of the fact that Anarkali was sentenced to be buried alive in that brick wall; all because she happened that fall in love with a man who was also the prince! How could that one emotion that every religion, every Seer, every God in the world defines to be pure and supreme get this punishment! Why would a ruler not understand how compassionate and authentic his son was if he loved a commoner! What could be more painful for Salim and Anarkali than knowing they loved but could not live that love! These are not questions but jarring emotions that have now caused my chest cavity to cave totally...
Well Anarkali lived and Salim ruled as the story says, and whether fact or fiction, there are many real tales like this one that abound. But my shock and bewilderment have no answer or atonement to be found.
The epitome of love in my view are Lord Shankar and Devi Parvati. A king's daughter, she married the Yogi living in the hills. In her previous life as Sati, she married Lord Shiva even though her father was not a supporter. When she immolated herself in the fire of the yajna, Lord Shiva was bereft and Sari was born as Devi Parvati to bring about the worldly balance that had been lost. So when love can surmount the obstacles of life and death why can it not survive the economic differences that Salim and Anarkali faced?
Of course this is a philosophical post and thought. One that is not accounting for practical implications. I could understand opposition if one person was a criminal, or dishonest and lacking integrity, or mentally and physically abusive. However, aside from these, at least I cannot comprehend opposition to love based on caste, religion or economic standing. Naive as it may be, it is my truth.
I continue to dig deeper and see a strong correlation between economics and such heartless and indifferent decisions. As the human race has progressed materially we have regressed emotionally. Power, stature, wealth, physical attributes and personal gains dominate the decision making frameworks that we deploy even to take life shaping decisions. And I saw that up, close and personal at a very young age.
There was a reasonably good friend who had decided to tell the man she was dating that her heart was probably not entirely in the relationship. There was no one else but there was a hope for someone different. She wanted to be honest. However, before she could voice her feelings, he proposed to her with the information of a double promotion and a move overseas. She saw this as her ticket to a life overseas with someone paying for her Masters. The marriage was solemnised. They remain married to date but I am no longer in contact. This was not opposition but proposition because of material factors. I was younger and more idealistic. It played with the circuitry of my brain and so I never spoke to her again. Lack of integrity was unnerving personally. Today I do think that maybe her circumstances drove her to take the path of least resistance and maybe I can understand at some level why she did what she did. I am hoping to reconnect, at leat in this case one heart was overjoyed...
A few years later, older and wiser, I was visiting a friend who was totally devoted to his Christian fiancee. While he was born into a Hindu family, he counted himself as an atheist. His was a family of privileges and hers was of limited means. But their love for one another was real and they were ok to work their way through life's hardships. However, on that visit, my friend mentioned that he would call off the engagement because his parents could not fight the society on both the economic and religious fronts! I was appalled! I had hoped that he would work with his parents to get them to come around. He is intelligent and super well educated. If not him, who else could convince the family. However, the pressure got to him. For a few years after that he was miserable and then met someone who fit the criteria and who he cared about. But she did not light the spark in his eyes as She did! He got married and has a good life. Not sure if it's the happiest he could be though. Of course I am very much in touch with them...
And while I have seen a number of examples of the kind mentioned above, my absolute favorite and fondest story of love surmounting obstacles is that of Mr Pea and Ms Key. I love these two friends to the moon and back. Their journey was not easy. But straying away from the post, their journey was difficult because Ms Key was OMG so difficult. For Mr Pea it was love at first sight and I would love to be able to have a great Bollywood director direct the scene of when they first met! Smitten and swooning, I would have endless hours of phone conversations how Ms Key was the soulmate. She on the other hand was absolutely disgusted with this knowledge. So I was getting polar opposite feedback from two people and I could tell neither who felt what. My cauldron boiled higher each day! Then Ms Key decided to spend two months in Dubai. I took Mr Pea for coffee and explained to him that there were "other fish in the sea" and he should move on. While he told me he would, he did not. This limbo continued for at least three years and then one fine day I was summoned by Ms Key. If I wanted her friendship I had to drop everything and go to her place. I ran, metaphorically that is.
Reaching her place I found a pensive Ms Key unable to comprehend how she had not recognised true love for all these years. She now wanted to pour her heart out but knew not where she stood. While he had not explicitly spoken to me post that coffee, I knew where he stood. Yet, I could not give any guarantees. I wanted to protect her, just in case. So I told her that she had no down side in meeting him that evening and having an honest conversation. She was scared and hesitant but agreed that this was the best course of action. So we took the bus that went to Mr Pea's house. Dropping her there I continued home in the same bus, with every moment becoming an eon of waiting. Those days there were no mobile phones. So I had to get home to know the outcome.
The bus stopped about half a kilometre away from home. I jumped out and ran, like literally ran home. Panting and perspiring I desperately rang the door bell and as soon as the door opened the landline started ringing. I pounced on the phone as if my life depended on it. And well it was a very cool and calm Mr Pea on the other end. As much as he was elated, his voice was expressionless. I had no joy speaking to him and so just asked for Ms Key. When she came on the line and I could hear her smile and I had tears of joy. They got married years later and for ythat wedding I flew down from London. Would not have missed it for anything at all.
That story makes me smile, always!
Love is divine and love is what makes the world go round. It may not be deep emotional love, it may be love for wealth, power, stature, physical attributes and personal gains. But it is love that makes the world go round. I just wish that we would all recognise pure, authentic, unadulterated emotional love and respect that emotion. The world would be a better place...
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