Wednesday, 13 December 2017

Shades of human

It had been a long day. A lot had transpired. I was filing my thoughts and planning for tomorrow. Other passengers had probably had their share of efforts and gratifications. And so there was very little activity at the boarding gate. An occasional cough, a soft murmer or a silent large yawn were the only distractions. 

All of sudden he came running down the escalator and frantically started searching; for what or whom no one knew but his panic was visible. As sudden was his appearance was his total pause, right in my face. He bent forward and from the back rest of my seat retrieved a scarf; a ladies hand woven scarf that I had kept there when sitting on the only empty seat I saw. With a smile and immense relief he walked away with his (or her) possession. Others went back to what they were doing but I kept staring at him.

What had caused his panic? Who did the scarf belong to? Why was his smile wider than the extent of his relief? The answers and the ensuing permutations and combinations can create myriad, very interesting tales. I could venture into some conjecturing but it may spoil, or stray your own storyline that has started taking shape, and so I am refraining. 

But if I can restraint myself from some momentary harmless conjecturing, then what causes me to bucket people in types and their behaviour in solid hues when a longer interaction can reveal otherwise... Just like numerous possibilities exist as cause of and context to the reaction of the man I encountered, there are as many circumstances and experiences that shape each one of us. Add to that individual desires, ambitions and hopes; and we have only shades of the spectrum and no single colour standing out. 

I hope that some day I will be able to solve the mystery of what drives the hearts and minds but until then let this be a resolve that I will enjoy the shades of the spectrum, even when I am keen to find one solid colour to paint the situation with. 

Signing off and hoping for a now delayed but not further postponed take off. 

Sunday, 19 November 2017

True to myself

Those who know me probably also know that jewellery and makeup are two areas where I have limited interest. Not that I don't wear either, but more that my use of both is limited. Of makeup far more than that of jewellery. Hence it was no surprise that I was resisting my sit down with the makeup artist pre the corporate film shoot. But well I also realised that the shoot was not about me and I had a responsibility to ensure that it was a success. So, I gave in, with caveats though. 

Oh, I am all for good grooming, pleasant presentation and smart appearances. Personally, what is tedious about make up is three fold - time consuming application,  ponderous procurement and elongated post use care rituals. All that takes up mind space and useful time. A gloss and a mascara, in my view suffice for most occasions and are my staples. I admire those who use makeup well, though as I lack the skill.

Anyway, back to the main discussion. I was quiet through the process and spoke only when I felt too much was being applied. Post, while the experts clearly said it was natural and colleagues were generous with compliments, when I saw the mirror I was frowning. This minimalistic makeup also looked caked up to my naked eyes. This was not me! The carefree me was worried about smudges. The easy me was listing the don'ts. The me was getting used to the layered me. 

What struck me was how the situation was similar to human interactions. A small veering away from the true self can be so energy consuming that it becomes exhausting. Focussing largely on what the other person may want or expect creates responses which may shadow the original and then keeping up becomes wearying. And just like no foundation and no concealer can completely cover the blemishes, no amount of put on behavior can hide the original attitude forever. 

So why is it that we are afraid of being who we are? Why do validations become so important that we let the true self hide behind masks? When is it that we will happily acknowledge that it is alright to be different and yet hold on to our dreams? Every colour has its own place in the spectrum, every flower is beautiful in its own way and every single star adds to the brightness of a dark night. If all these have their places secure why are human beings so insecure?

Friday, 25 August 2017


What is it about music that makes me want to breathe the notes, play the melody and dance to the composition? Why is it that music makes me want to dive like a dolphin, soar like an eagle and run like a doe? How can music easily make me blush like a teenager, smile like a bride and sleep like a baby? 

What is it that breathes life when music plays, I cannot comprehend. Why does life become sacred and special with music, I remain clueless. How can music infuse happiness and joy into life, my being marvels at the mystery. 

But without music life is meaningless, without music every achievement is incomplete and without music every joy a shade paler. While much has changed, these  aspects have remained constant; making it the one big truth of my life. And at least of this about music I am certain and convinced. 

Sunday, 20 August 2017


My closest friend from school days came home after many years and her immediate reaction was - " it feels so good to be back here in this house". Yes we spent a lot of time here - we shared secrets and joys, bounced from setbacks and failures, and we grew from young girls into young ladies. She is my constant - one who is there even when she is not. 

A few days later, as I was reading into the night, a friend sent a message - "Why are you up so late?" How did he know? I was puzzled! "Well, we were just driving past your building and saw that your lights were on. Please sleep." And peacefully sleep I did. I know for sure that just as he had looked out for me the day I had a severe migraine attack in college, he (actually now he and his wife) is still looking out for me. From a young lady to a woman, he has seen my journey. And its not my material or professional accomplishments that he is proud of, but he says he values the person that he sees in me. 

As I waited for mother and father in the foyer of the club, she called out and simultaneously caught hold of my hand. "This is you Tanushree! I have been thinking of you!"  I was stunned. She looked as young as she did as the Grade X class teacher. "Ma'am it's you. I have been wanting to meet you as well." A few minutes and a short conversation later she elicited a promise from me of a meeting in the first week of September. A promise I promise to keep. She not only taught me the science behind chemical reactions, but also what dignity means when surrounded by adverse actions. She may have been following my facebook activities but in all these years her silent blessings have been with me, of that today I am aware. From then to now she wants to see how the seed has groomed. I am anxious to pass the litmus test. 

Three people having three different histories with me walked through the garden of my life, all in one week, one after the other. While one is always present like the wind, another one is seasonal like the rain and yet another one is the occasional rainbow. Their associations maybe different but all three have contributed to me being who I am. And all three tell me that this is what home means. I may travel the world, but it is back here that I will find my true self. I may journey through enchanting forests, but it is here that I will find my reality. I may wish upon many a star, but it is here that I will find the strength to realise my dreams. Because this is where I started my journey. This is where my roots are. And this is where I will return to when the sun decides to set. 

Saturday, 5 August 2017

Needed - 12% Tax on Sanitary Napkins

When I put forth my thoughts on why a 12% tax on sanitary napkins and tampons is not discriminatory, I thought I was being logical and rationale. But then there were those who communicated their scepticism, their disbelief or simply a disagreement. Some of them are extremely intelligent and some are wonder women. And so I began to wonder if I could gather some numbers to highlight that a 0% tax on these products will probably not be sufficient to encourage their use. 

Based on Google research, facts and mathematics here is the data - 

Average cost of one sanitary napkin (SPC) = Rs 6.00
Cost without tax (0SPC) = Rs 5.36
Average number of pads used per month (#) = 17 (average of min 15 and max 20)
Total monthly cost of sanitary napkin use (SPC#) = Rs 102
Total monthly cost of tax free sanitary napkins (0SPC#) = Rs 91.12
Average income of a rural household for a family of 5 = Rs 5000. 

Assuming an equal split of the income for every member of the family, per rural woman we have Rs 1000 of monthly spend. For a monthly requirement of sanitary napkins the woman would thus need to shell out 9% -10% of her monthly income. That sounds unaffordable, especially when one considers that one kilogram staple food such as tomatoes or pulses could cost as much!

From an urban woman's stand point, a saving of Rs 10.88 every month represents 0.22% if she earns Rs 5000 monthly. 

So why shave tax off when it probably makes no difference to either set? Let me elucidate a bit more.

Notice that the tax of  Rs 10.88 can almost buy 2 sanitary napkins. The tax paid by 9 urban women can actually buy the monthly quota for one rural woman, but 2 sanitary napkins a month help neither one!

According to last census there were 106.916m women in the age bracket of 15-24 in India and 251.070m in 24-54. Rounding off, there are about 360m menstruating women in India. Of these 12%-20% use sanitary napkins. Tax collected on this sale could help an additional 4.8m - 7.8m women use sanitary napkins, which is 1% - 1.5% additional Indian female population!

Now we see things moving. 

If the government would contribute an equal amount to this we could have an additional 2% - 3% women having more hygienic facilities available. Corporate CSR and NGOs can help improve this number.

Schools are already being used as free distribution points, but girls get only 5 pads a month. So alternatively, with tax paid on sanitary napkins, we can now triple this grant and ensure they have enough for the entire month! When we inculcate awareness at a young age, we groom a healthier future with better prospects for national GDP.

The God or the devil, whichever be your pick, lies in the details. The numbers scream out for tax on sanitary napkins to be used to make this facility available for the ones who cannot afford it. That must become the endeavour of the urban, educated, sanitary napkin using women - to ensure that our government puts our money where the bloody need is!

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Bleed to Lead, Breed and Succeed

I am a woman and my reality is that I bleed and breed. Equally is my reality that I lead and succeed; but that does not change the fact that I am a woman. I cannot own one and turn my back to the other. Both these aspects complete me just like heads and tails maketh a coin. So if I can walk the corridors of the corporate world, use logic and reasoning to make decisions and forge ahead why should I not use the same analytical skills to answer questions on discrimination...

Ever since GST has been rolled out in India I have worked with my team to understand if the pre roll out impact analysis was accurate and sufficient. In the last 12 days I have read, heard and discussed varied reports and opinions. All of them have led me to the conclusion that this much needed reform would have created upheaval whenever we would have attempted it despite preparation ad nauseam. While the focus remained on business, in the background there was this constant humdrum that sanitary napkins are being taxed at 12% when bindi, bangles, sindoor and condoms are tax free. The women empowerment morchas have been crying foul and their voices are never fading. The secular brigade is on a slogan screaming campaign just behind the feminists. Their din is hurtful to the ears. While logic told me that taxes alone cannot make sanitary napkins unaffordable I decided to flesh out this discussion a bit more.

To begin with - bindi, bangles and sindoor were tax free pre GST as they are post. In the post era they are tax free not to appease sentiments of religious factions or to force women to use them as some sort of bonded labourer marks, but because a majority of these products are manufactured by entities with an annual income of less than INR 20 lakhs. These entities are outside of the GST network, which means that they do not get to avail of input tax credits. Now if these enterprises are made to pay an output tax but they don't get input tax benefits then we are making them economically unviable and that will be injustice. So the status quo for these items remain to ensure that GST roll out does not eat away livelihoods of the lower strata of the society. That's logic and rationale from the leading and succeeding me. The bleeding and breeding me wants to ask the secular brigade one question - are bindis and bangles used only by women of one religious faction? I know of Hindu, Parsi, Muslim, Jain and Christian women who love wearing both these accessories on a daily basis to enhance their beauty or for personal pleasure. Parsi married women equally support red bangles as do the Hindus. Hindu women in urban India, at least, no longer sport sindoor on a daily basis unless you count the Indian television appearances of Sindoor soaked women. Feminist senoritas now that's the cluster of modern society you need to educate because their caricatures propagate what you are so against. And they propagate to the world and not just to Indians in India. Fight the battle at the root cause and maybe you can eradicate it. 

Now coming to condoms. Well it's not just condoms but all contraceptives that are tax free. And that's to control the population growth which is already at levels where food, energy and water security for the nation are threatened. That is logic and reasoning once again, but singing the logical notes I am forced to think that condom manufacturers are larger organisations. So why should they stand to benefit with no output tax but access to input tax credit. Do they though? Must research this point or need to logically understand it. Flow of thoughts - So if an enterprise has an input tax carry forward do they get cash back from the government? No. Also if sold B2B the dealer has no input credit and no output tax so no benefit. B2C the retail customer anyway has no input tax credit availability. So is this really a huge benefit for the organisations... If you still want to harp on condoms feministas, well they also protect the health of the woman and ensure her pleasure with the least discomfort. And while condoms are tax free the government also distributes them free to encourage the use and save this country from turning into an overcrowded ant hill. So the bleeding me thinks that tax free contraceptives and condoms benefits women too.

That brings me to the point that no one has spoken of yet - free distribution of sanitary napkins. Take away the 12% tax and rural India will still not be able to afford sanitary napkins. Distribute them free, install hygienic dispensers and educate women on benefits of pads - that is money well spent. So I say charge me 12% every month but use that 12% on a fellow woman who cannot afford even one tenth of the 12% that I stand to save. Create a corpus from the tax proceeds of sanitary napkins to be spent on improving menstrual health of girls and women in the most deprived parts of the nation. I would say give an additional tax break to the larger manufacturers of women hygiene products so that savings on tax are ploughed at the ground level to help us bleed healthy and breed secure. That's logic, rationale, emotion and solution all rolled into one. 

If the government pulls of something like this then the reforms in India will truly be revolutionary. If the fire brand women can lobby for something like this then the colour of red would have painted us in a different light globally. If the religious factions can implement this at grass root levels, their votebanks will be ringing in well wishers in abundance. Any takers? Any seconders? Anybody for a positive change? And well I don't count on the media to help with something like this. At the end of the day this is really worth implementing and not sensational enough you see...

Monday, 5 June 2017


For everything that interests us there is that one aspect that completely mesmerises and captivates. When I consider music, I will have to confess a strong bias towards stringed instruments and Indian classical. As I turn to books, I would be lying if I said anything captivates me more than political thrillers or geopolitical history. And the minute I venture to photography, there are enough and more shots of sunsets and trees that will evidence my prejudice very aptly. Of the two, picking any one  would be a dilemma. But if I was forced to, at this moment, and only at this moment ,maybe my pick would be sunsets. 

The first vivid memory that I have of a beautiful sunset is from a summer holiday in the hills of Kumaon region. We had driven from Nainital to Kausani via Almora. It had been a long drive, and by the time we reached our rest house in Kausani it was evening. Getting out of the car I felt the cool wind hit my young cheeks. To avoid it I turned in the opposite direction. As soon as I did, the view in front of me had me enthralled. The setting sun had spread sweet orange flames across the sky, and the snow clad mountain peaks were reflecting the warmth of these in shades of peach and pink. No shade of these three colours was missing from the canvas and that perfect painting of nature has been etched in my memory ever since. Had I attempted to capture the moment, I don't think I could have done that view any justice. 

After that Mumbai sunsets captivated me. Whether it was Priyadarshini park, Tata Gardens, Worli Sea Face or Hanging Gardens; I have spent many evenings just watching the sun melt away into the sea and spread a blanket of harmony on this city riddled with chaos. Through my teens and early twenties, post a good day it seemed as if the setting sun was creating a delicious orange syrup for me to dip my ice lolly into and enjoy. Every tough day that I ended with the sun, the ball of fire just slipped into its watery bed and sent a message to rest and rejuvenate for  a brighter next day. While I saw many sun rises as well, none of them spoke to me like the sunsets did. 

If I thought it was the Mumbai sunsets that were special, my view changed as soon as I started to travel. Whether it was the plains of Jaipur or Fontainebleau, the mountain tops of Cape Town or Santorini, the cruises of Budapest or Quebec, or my days in my balcony on the Thames; every sunset brought with it new smiles and evoked new emotions. Each sunset, even today, gives my dreams wider wings to soar higher. Every sunset puts a perspective to every struggle I have faced. All sunsets bring forth an enhanced version of nature's beauty all around us. And so did the red and orange sunset  of yesterday; and probably that's the reason at this moment I am partial to sunsets - the red, orange, pink, peach and yellow paintings of nature.