Leadership and Mindfulness

I recently read this article by Dalai Lama on leadership (https://hbr.org/2019/02/the-dalai-lama-on-why-leaders-should-be-mindful-selfless-and-compassionate) where he talks of leaders being mindful, selfless and compassionate. These are all qualities that are admirable and create a difference in the way teams perform. However, there are occassions when these three can pull a leader in different directions, creating a situation where one of the three has to be given a higher priority to ensure that the collective benefits. 

A few years ago, I was in awe of a much younger colleague. She was shouldering the responsibility of the family. It took a lot of courage to have travelled her journey and be enthusiastic and happy always. While I admired her accountability to her family, soon I began to notice that she was not as responsible at work. In order to help her deliver I had an open conversation with her and spoke to the team to ensure that they supported her as well. A significant project was being led by her and that was also a key audit requirement. I sat with her to allow her to select her deadline within the available timelines. I also encouraged her manager to review the progress and highlight any surprises to me promptly. 

When the first deadline was missed I kept calm and allowed her to deliver at a new mutually agreed date. That too was missed. Her manager came complaining about her inefficiency but he was unwilling to take any action. He did not want to "damage her career" and be the "bad boss". All this meant was that the team was becoming sluggish due to one person and the manager of the team was not ready to take corrective action. As the leader of the function this meant that I had to intervene so that the organisation's and all stakeholders' interests were protected. 

I called her to have a discussion and gave her a deadline by when the deliverables needed to be complete. Lo and behold, she had decided to take an "overseas family vacation for two weeks" despite knowing the sensitivity of the task and having not delivered on three occasions. Her manager was aware of this, was not ok with it and still had approved the leave. I was flabbergasted. In my mind, both the individuals were equally at fault and I was not sure what my next step should be. So I decided to sleep over and find a solve the next day.

Thinking of being reasonable, compassionate and mindful I called the manager and her. I told her that while she could go overseas as tickets etc had been booked, she should carry her laptop and ensure that she worked from there to be able to deliver the timeline. It would mean sacrificing some fun time with the family but if she delivered early all the remaining time would be hers. The manager was not happy with the compromise but remember he had approved the leave. Her reaction was something I could not comprehend. She flatly refused to deliver the project and said that her family was more important. That meant she would not even carry her laptop and be available for calls. I was shocked and was now mindful of the implications of such behaviour on the performance culture and the company reputation. Knowing that I needed to be a leader with consequences, I told her that was my final offer else she was welcome to resign and look for another job where such poor performance, lack of ownership and no accountability would be acceptable. She found my stance to be harsh and selfish. The manager, who had problems and was not ready to tackle them himself, found me to be heartless. And yet after a lot of mindful consideration I decided that my unsympathetic and seemingly high handed decision was right for the organisation, the collective. She chose to leave. I still admire how she rose to the occassion when the family needed her but I still cannot fathom her unprofessionalism. 

The manager did not learn his lesson even with this incident though. He continued to defend the team's underperformance regularly and sometimes in group meetings. He was just not able to be tough as it was more important for him to be liked. After a couple of such instances I decided that I had to tackle this situation too else I would have taken a corrective action only in part. The next time he defended the team's poor performance in a group meeting, I declared that any manager not being able to get the deliverables from their teams in the required timelines and with the required accuracy would see the impact on their appraisals. While this is an implicit measure of a good performance management system, calling it out was what was needed. It created an impact, different from what I had expected but it improved the the team performance. 

The manager continued to be wanting to be liked, but one of his team members decided to take the accountability of ensuring the team delivered. This was such a blessing because not only did the deliverables start coming through, we had identified a high potential who was hidden till then. 

An arduous journey, the above has taught me that as an officer of the company, my duty is to the stakeholders of the organisation. That is what I am mindful of. If with that context there are difficult situations when compassion for an individual would compromise the interest of the organisation then surely the organisation will take precedence. Of course then there are cases where tragedies happen and we may need to carve another solution that is compassionate and keeps organisational imperatives in mind as well. However, I do believe that it is not always possible for a leader to only be thinking about their teams. To be fair, they need to look at their larger responsibility and then take decisions even if they same uncompassionate, selfish and harsh. Mindfulness is the biggest ally of leaders in my view thus. 

A New Flight

In this topsy-turvy time, the one thing that has remained steadfast is the daily sunrise and sunset. In these uncertain times, the one thing that gives hope is the unrestricted and uninhibited flights of the soaring birds. In these strange times, the one thing that brings familiarity and comfort are those who you can be with. And that is what I saw as I walked this sixtieth evening of the corona quarantine times.

As the phone clicked to capture this image, I could not help but smile in gratitude and humility. Both the emotions came from three very different angles, three that I thought of sharing.

The very first one is in gratitude of nature and in humility of how even today, after humanity has plundered so much of it, nature seems to be working constantly to sustain humanity. The sun still shines to give us food, the rivers still flow to give us water and the wind still blows to ease the heat. Nature may want to reclaim its glory, but it is not blazing Armageddon. The warning shot may be with rage but not in revenge. It is those open spaces that have not been plundered to be populated by mankind that are sanctuaries of safety, and ready to take those who will accept the unfamiliar ways of life. Such love, compassion and tolerance are the most prominent traits of mothers and it is no wonder that from time in memorial we have been taught of the beauty of mother nature and mother earth. I bow down to the greatness of these mothers who are trying to forgive us and help us find a new way of life that may be more of collaboration and co-existence.

The second one is in gratitude of the untiring and heroic service of the front line workers, and in humility of the unrelenting human spirit.  These have not been easy times even for those who have comfort of a roof on their heads and food in their stomachs. And in these times when you want to be with the ones you love the healthcare workers are rallying day after day to ensure that they can help as many recover as possible, not just from corona but from other ailments as well. All the while being the most vulnerable to this so far incurable infection. Just as them, it is the law enforcers who hear the brickbats and the criticism and yet are out there to ensure that they can maintain discipline which is the first line of prevention in the current times; even if it means they catch the virus. Joining these brave forces are the city sanitation and cleanliness workers who are ensuring that the spread of other diseases is curtailed, the public transport employees who are getting all of the above to their stations of duties, the logistics teams ferrying medicine and food globally and locally to make sure everyone has enough, those who are getting the essentials to you and me putting themselves at risk and then there are the volunteers. There are so many other segments who are working to keep life as uncomplicated as it can be, that I cannot name them all here, but I sincerely salute them all.

And last but not the least I am in gratitude of the those who told me I was being a romantic, forcing me to see the other side of the coin and I am humbled by their acceptance of the stark reality. At the start of the pandemic, as India went into a lockdown, I said India would never be the same again. Of course, the world was never going to be the same again but the romantic in me theorised that this was the nation’s second world war moment. The moment where the millennials stopped to spend and started to save, where the entrepreneurs stopped to cut the pie and started to cooperate to grow the pie, and where the politicians forgot their differences and adopted bipartisanship to sail us through to the other side of the storm. What the last two months have highlighted though is while the millennials may be seeing a new way of life, our industry and political system is far too hard wired to bring in the shake that we need. It has been disappointing to say the least!  We could have done a lot more and for a lot less! We could have done for a lot more with a lot less! There truly have been some great decisions but the setback is when we look at some of the more recent decisions. They are not just confounding but incomprehensible. I want answers and have reached out for them but am but a mere ordinary citizen and hence received only what I deserve: silence. My balloon deflated, I feel defeated because probably naïve as it was, I overinvested in the belief of good and the judgement of the wise.

Yet in this defeat lies victory: victory of the human spirit of which mine is a part! I may have learnt a lesson but I am ready to embrace this new normal, ready to embody the sun daily and do my part, ready to hope again and fly with the birds and ready to stand with those who are mine because they are the ones who I answer to and who understand.

Be well and stay safe!

The Strength of Vulnerability

A few years ago there was a motor accident on a highway. I was a part of it. It was more theatrical than my recent interesting accident at a children's party but it involved zero, yes zero injuries. That it was a miracle is probably an understatement. Soon after that incident I was in zone calm. Cool as a cucumber I took care of all matters at hand including attending the customer meeting I had to attend; but post that, when trying to sleep at night, I relived those moments of impact and I was troubled. How bad it could have been, was a realisation that struck me only then. The extent of grace I had received was astounding. So the next day, after an important meeting that had people coming in from out of town and had been scheduled weeks in advance, I took the day off and came home. I needed to get the aftershocks out of my system and that would only happen if I spent time with myself understanding what really was causing the discomfort. I would not be the most effective, efficient or authentic leader if I did not know myself first. And so my biggest learning post that incident was that it is ok to take time to regroup and get clarity.

This time I was injured and I could feel the extent of the damage. I knew this would be a long road to recovery, so this time I regrouped while waiting to go in for my x- ray. I decided to use my limited energy only for the most critical decisions. Priority one was the upcoming board meeting. I had an email from the team with some updates and some points needing discussion. So that was my first call. Having sorted that, next was to inform my boss. I did that. Then came peers and that box was ticked too. By then my phone battery and my stamina, both were in the red and so I sunk into the wheelchair, closed my eyes and tried to regroup myself again. The call to the audit partner would need to wait.

As reality of an impending surgery started to sink in, thoughts started to smoke my mind. I was not reliving the moment, no I had learnt my lesson in the futility of that attempt; it was the ongoing and future hows, what and when that were burning a small flame. All the family around me were either tired or worried and some even both, though no one showed it. I did not think it wise to have them inhale the smoke being generated from the flame.

I was weary of being wheeled in to a room filled with sharp instruments, drugged into oblivion, cut open and fixed with multiple metal pieces that would become a part of me. I was asked by the anesthesist if I had any objection to being intubated. I wanted to retort asking if I had an option, but kept quiet. With the little energy I had, I read the consent form I was asked to sign and understood that in short I was giving up the right on my own life for those few hours. So be it. I signed, but the smoke got thicker. And that's when I decided to ask for help. I took my phone and messaged a friend who I consider as a more honest person than me, with faith stronger than mine. All I could manage to type was "Injured. Need prayers." Despite the short message, somehow trusting that one person and asking for help made me feel better. I was now ready to sit out the night.

Why did I trust him? There are reasons that will digress from this post and so are currently immaterial; but reaching out and asking for help gave me the strength to clear the smoke so that my visibility at least was no longer clouded. I was now in control while the silence had only bred anxiety.

In the operation theatre I was clear that I was not lying down until sedated. The pain, in that movement, was far too great in the upper left extremity of my body. I knew my limits and was not going to be pushed beyond them. Of course I was vulnerable and one of the doctors on the team tried to push me into a lying down position before I could be sedated. So I screamed. That was my only defence mechanism. To my relief that is when the surgeon rushed in. I was sedated in a sitting position and then I only have the repair work to gauge what happened. But I made my point that Sunday morning - yes I was vulnerable, I was at their mercy and I was in pain; but I would not let anyone disrespect my threshold of tolerance, exploit my dependence and misuse my trust.

The acceptance of vulnerability and reaching out for help gave me comfort and clarity at a time when I had to lead the most important person in my life -  me myself. More than outside support, even from those who love you more dearly than their own lives, it is your own advocacy that helps you row in troubled waters. Your own faith, conviction and confidence are most essential in successfully navigating a storm. And in this if you to turn to a trusted comrade and say help me beef up my reserves so that I may succeed, it only seems sensible and rational to me.

Some of the most successful leaders have left legacies because they acknowledged their vulnerabilities. An acknowledgement of feelings, doubts and fears allows a leader to connect more transparently with her team. It lends authenticity to interactions which builds on trust. But it takes strength of character and a shedding of ego to accept that as a leader one may not be perfect.

Lady Thatcher resigned because she saw how vulnerable she was and what that was doing to her party. Her voluntary resignation allowed for a more popular candidate to be nominated and the Conservatives ran the government for another seven years. Whether or not it was effective governing is a matter of another discussion, but the leader's realisation of a weakness helped the party and earned her respect if nothing else.

One of the most revered companies, Apple Inc. was founded by Steve Jobs. But it is also common knowledge that he was unceremoniously sacked from his own firm by his own board because he was unable to see how his decisions were taking the iconic enterprise down. The man post his dismissal conceded he was wrong and began to relook at his work. He acquired and grew Pixar; and when Apple needed him back, he joined the company again but only as an advisor and then interim CEO. This time his ego was not on the high pedestal it was in the first stint. As his cancer was diagnosed, he started to hand more power to his trusted team member Tim Cook. The tremendous success Apple enjoys has been seen only after Steve Jobs' death.

Closer to home, the man who wrote history, Mahatama Gandhi or Bapu as the nation calls him was known to have accepted his limitations and weaknesses. In fact he even stated that the biggest battle was fighting his own demons, fears and insecurities. He stuck to his core beliefs and values and did not fail to apologize when wrong. It was this honesty and conviction that led not just a nation but a generation to be inspired by him.

I am writing this today as I am forced to wonder if in the corporate world we have missed the importance of this disposition and considered it solely to be a weakness for far too long. For how long do we expect senior leaders and senior management to always have all the answers, to always be right and to always win? When will it be ok for corporate executives to be human and let their teams know that they are susceptible to the same fears as the team, and that they trust the team enough to help find a way out? Will it ever be ok to make a mistake, apologize and still retain the helm with head held high? Will the world driven by profits and stock markets ever fully appreciate the truth of the statement - "there is nothing so strong as gentleness and nothing so gentle as real strength"? Will vulnerability ever be truly appreciated as a strength on resumes?