My Shoes are Mine

Clothes, their choice, colours and styles, define a personality. Shoes and bags highlight the definition, accentuating the subtle undertones. And well that may just be a statement I am making to justify every impulsive shoe and bag purchase I may have indulged in.

On a hot tropical Sunday morning, after a lovely pancake breakfast, Hermione and I decided that if I was in the world's largest mall I must explore it. So off we went on an expedition to find me a bag just like the one she has; a style and brand I love, and a colour I need. As we entered the shop I gravitated towards a striking light brown bag. The bag was so me. I picked up the beauty only to have to place it back with one glance at the price tag. Just as I cannot draw, sketch or paint to save my life; I could not afford to buy the bag even if my life depended on it. Hermione was laughing; just like her, unknowingly, I had to have picked the unaffordable Hermes! We walked out of there with amusing disappointment written all over my face.

One level below we passed a shoe shop. It was not branded and it was not expensive, but Hermione said it had given her some of the most comfortable shoes. I do not need any more shoes but it never harms to look, and so we walked in. Right in front of me lay the most amazing blood red leather shoes. They were gorgeous. I tried my size on and they fit my feet like a perfect pair of gloves. Soft, light and pretty; the picture was perfect. And then Hermione showed me the most amazing pair of blue snake leather pattern heels. They were singing on the shelf and I could not wait to get my feet into them. But as I put my feet into these all absorbing shoes, my little toe gently pointed out its discomfort. I was torn and did not know what to do. I decided to tarry in indecision a bit longer. Then came another pair, a bright silver blue kitten heel stunner. Oh this one looked uber cool but felt just equally uncomfortable. I went back to my blues band and realised that I would love them but would grudge them the discomfort. And so ultimately we left with the blood red sizzlers for me and a pair of silver subtle shockers for Hermione.

Buying shoes was spontaneous and impulsive, but that is what brings excitement and authenticity in life; not the shoes, the unpremeditated, emotional and honest action. If everything is planned and too much perfection exists, it can become over bearing and suffocating. If all decisions and arguments are rational then humans may just as well be replaced with robots. If pretence comes in actions, relationships can never be trusted.

Yet it's so bizarre that one person's forethought is another one's reflex. What may be an emotion for one could be an irrefutable but irrational reaction for another. A possibly put on appearance, accent or action could very well be an unconscious and involuntary part of a personality. If I was to buy the blue shoes the discomfort would be mine. If I was not to buy the blood red shoes the regret would be mine. If I was to stop exploring shoe and bag shops, for the fear of being impulsive, I would stop being me. And I am the only me I have and why would I want to let go of that?

There are said and unsaid expectations that we take onboard and we try to conform. External validation carries significance both in personal and professional lives. Acceptance of views by others gives a feeling of achievement. But somewhere in all of this what gets lost are the self expectations, internal validations and self acceptance.

My shoes may have their small flaws but overall make my feet feel and look fantastic. I have my own imperfections but as a package I am the only individual who can deliver the signature experience that's unique to me. The warts are there to highlight the beauty that surrounds them just like my shoes highlight the subtlety of who the clothed individual is. And the Hermes, well if I want it, I will work to save to be able to buy it! Nothing is impossible, even the word itself says I'm possible!