Friday, 28 November 2008

Mumbai: A Lesson of Living and Loving??

Over the last two days, like most of the world, I have expressed my emotions without inhibition. Be it a feeling of violation or be it anger towards some of the reactions that I am hearing, I have been voicing my views actively. At the same time I have been analyzing and debating with friends, measures that India probably needs to install going forward. Everyone has their views of what should be done ranging from compulsory military service being introduced to imposing of military rule in the country. Given the absolute shock value of India’s own 9/11, people’s ideas are also extreme.

While I would love to comment on all of this, I think there is something more fundamental that I would like to address before that. And that is the uncertainty of life. As a friend mentioned in his email yesterday, “there is absolutely no certainty in life about what lies ahead for us.. We could be driving on a road and a crane could fall on us or we could be having dinner / doing business in a hotel and get shot down... The inevitability of death to this body of ours seems so crystal clear.” His email had me thinking – if I were to die today, at this very moment, would I feel that I had lived a meaningful life? Would I transcend into the other world knowing that I had rendered all my duties? Will my conversations with God convince Him that in me He had a lot to be proud of? And above all, will I be able to close my eyes without any regrets?

I do think I lead an honest life, doing all that I do with sincerity. At the work place I believe that I have always strived to give my best, sometimes even getting unduly attached to my work. In fact, friends have often jested with an opinion that I am married to my job. There I have absolutely no regrets. On the personal front I am not so sure.

My family knows of their importance in my life and my unconditional love and support for them. However, I do think that I could spend some more time with them. There are friends who I think I would like to see and spend some more time with. I have been promising them a visit for a long time, not realizing that I need to grab the opportunity when it comes. Procrastination in being with the ones you care about might not be the smartest idea given the uncertainty of life. I am seeing this more clearly than ever before, today!

And then there comes something which I has been nagging me for the last twenty four hours – how measured should one be in human interaction. If a desire to express an emotion or admiration exists, is there merit in debating its articulation and the timing of the same? Is the deliberation worth, given that a prolonged delay could snatch away any opportunity of making these feelings known? How fair is it that the human race, in spreading terrorism and fear, has little qualm; but in spreading love and togetherness we sometimes take an eternity. Resolving this very basic conflict will hopefully help each one of us improve our own lives and also show us the way forward in these troubled times.


Anonymous said...

Tanu, with response to your last paragraph, about expressing emotion or admiration,,,I would say that go ahead and express how u feel,,,that way u can give the other person information to make a judgement decision,and also u can live your life without regrets.

Tanushree Bagrodia said...

Dear Anonymous, while I will take you up on your advise I think this goes for each one of us. I would really like to see my friends to start interacting with a lot more ease and stop calculating and analysing each move of theirs. Life is too precious to be spent in manipulating people.....