The Mist and The Magic - A Question of Faith?

There comes a point in each person’s life where there is mist clouding the path ahead, and however hard one tries there is no way forward apparent to the human eye. The tumultuous market environment of the last few weeks has been one such point in the lives of a number of finance professionals. Non-existent revenue generation opportunities, endangered job situations, tanking markets and hence pensions, increased living costs, the ensuing winter – gloom and doom seems to be all around. Government bail outs provided a glimmer hope on one day but the next day the hedge fund redemptions took all joy out of the world that was only beginning to smile. When hopes came crashing down it was a sad world out there..

I was not a happy camper and the black driver who picked me up late last night from work seemed to sense my uneasiness. Adept at conversing with people in myriad moods, these gentlemen sometimes give a perspective on life which can really make one think long and hard. What was my worry I was asked. No visibility on any recent revenue generation – not to worry, many were in a worse position as they did not even have the opportunity to contribute to a P&L. Job security – well for the time being I am in safe hands, so why was I worried about three months hence. Worst case scenario – I could do the PhD I have been contemplating, start working for CNN or BBC (always an option it seems….) or go back to India and work with street children which I have always wanted to do. Tanking markets – I still have a long way to go before I need to really start worrying about my pension it seemed! That made me smile.

I was told that my current problem is that I am trying too hard to second guess God and my problem in the future could be trying to adjust to a lower pay scale maybe. The conversation ended on that note as I had reached home.

Now I am thinking and trying to understand if I am really trying to second guess God (or destiny or fate or Maktub). Yes I am, because I am scared of not achieving what I have set out to. I would like to safeguard myself and my ambitions. I would like to have a set of options available to me if things do not work out as planned. However, the more I think about the worrisome situation, the more negative and anxious I become. Anxiety yields nothing but leads to actions which are not fully thought out and hence can result in dire consequences. The sensible choice thus would be to leave the mist to its own being and wait for it to clear so that the way ahead can be seen.

The difficulty in that is that I would like to have control in the way tomorrow shapes and I would like to have made my choice yesterday. Am I being fair to myself and my ambitions with this lack of patience? I do not know. What I do know though is that it is time for me not to beat myself up for the small things in life that are not in my control. What I also am beginning to realise is that I need to have faith, faith that things will fall into place and I will achieve my ambitions for which I have worked long and hard. It is like Al said when he called last week, “it is when you start to believe that the magic beings to happen”. I hope I can truly start believing in the good as I would love to see the magic happen….Wouldn't you?

The Indian Woman - A Perspective

India is undergoing seismic shifts which are transforming the country’s economic setup, consumer attitudes, political system and even the traditional family unit. While in most other spheres the function of most stakeholders has altered; in the case of the household it is the role of women that has experienced the most visible changes. No longer confined to the four walls of a house, a tempting description of the modern Indian woman could be - a highly educated and driven career woman, fighting neck to neck to create her place under the sun. While not entirely incorrect, this would be an incomplete description. However ambitious she may be, the Indian woman is still the strongest pillar supporting the family architecture. She still remains a mother, a wife, a daughter and a sister before embarking on the journey of realizing her professional dreams.

India has the world’s largest number of professionally qualified women[1] and the highest number of women executives heading financial institutions[2]. With intelligent women abounding globally, it is not talent alone that has enabled Indian women to attain this distinction. It is not even that India is not a male dominated society so that women have it easier; much to the contrary actually. There are no gender biased judicial privileges that make it simpler for Indian women to scale these heights. However, in their mothers (and mothers-in-law) Indian women find invaluable and selfless contribution in running the household and bringing up children. It is the affection, devotion and stamina of mothers (and mothers-in-law) which have allowed the modern Indian woman to lead a satisfied life without compromising either her family or her career.

Co-existing with this Fortune magazine cover gracing female personalities is another segment of the modern Indian women which believes that the utilization of education, experience and exposure is most worthwhile in grooming children into becoming worthy and stable individuals. The tremendous sacrifice of these women, who give up lucrative career opportunities to provide early guidance, emotional stability and a support system, enhances the independence and intelligence of their children (as research has proven[3]). The Indian youth owes its success and well being in a big way to the Indian mother.

It is not just as a mother that the Indian woman cares for her family. The quintessential Indian wife has always walked along side her husband partaking some of his responsibilities. It is often for this reason that the modern Indian woman works, to guarantee that there is more than ample not just for her husband and children but also for the extended family. While she works hard to bolster the family, the modern Indian woman also handles compromises and change with equanimity to ensure that any transition is smooth for the family. It is a well known fact that today’s global enterprise and pride of India, Infosys, was started with the savings of Mrs. Sudha Murty, wife of the current Infosys Chief Mentor. Mrs. Murty’s faith in her husband, her unflinching support towards his passion, and her ability to successfully run the household with a smaller financial corpus has given the world one of its leading IT and consulting firms.[4] Not only did she provide the monetary means but in the subsequent year quit her promising job to relocate with her husband and help him in his business endeavour. No wonder they say that behind every successful man there is a woman! The modern Indian woman should be proud of herself for the same.

And while the mothers and the wives do their bits, the daughters can only learn from them. A society that has since time immemorial been biased towards the male child, is today beginning to witness an unthinkable tide. Daughters are providing for and taking care of their parents increasingly. Sullaja Firodia Motwani is an example of a daughter who is a father’s pride. Despite being born in a business family, Sullaja carved her own path and worked for a financial consulting firm in the US before returning to India to head that same company’s operations. However, when her father’s business started to see tougher times, Sullaja gave up her job and donned the hat of the co-captain in order to manoeuvre the Kinetic group out of troubled waters. She could have left the task to her brother alone and stuck to the identity she had created for herself. But acknowledging her responsibilities she stepped in and accepted the challenge.

The world talks about female infanticide, dowry deaths and female sexual harassment in India. What the world forgets to realize in the interim is that in these changing times, the contemporary Indian woman is sometimes faced with contradicting identities. While the feminist activists push her to one extreme, the tradionalist conservatives push her towards the other. The woman herself in the process is lost. However, in my opinion the identity of the Indian woman is what it always has been and can be simply described as:

"Kaaryeshumantri Karaneshudasi Bhoyjeshumata Sayaneshurambha
Dharmanukula Kshamayadharitri Sadgunmetatv hi Pavitranam
Syabharya Bhartasmanugamini Nityam Madhuvaktri Sabharya hi Bhakti"


Translated from Sanskrit in my interpretation as:

The one wise as a minister, who toils with endless energy and is the provider of food and luxuries,
The one who helps pick the right from wrong, has an endless capacity to forgive, is a collection of virtues and a pillar of purity,
The one who walks along side providing unconditional support, always has a kind word to say and is an epitome of sincerity

There remains little room for confusion now but ample for progress and prosperity.



Dedication:
This piece is dedicated foremost to my mother, a qualified lawyer and an accomplished classical singer, who gave up her career possibilities for her family. We are all indebted to her for the same. Next, this is dedicated to my elder sister who in my childhood was a second mother (much to my dislike). A very qualified dietician and a nutritionist she has decided to work only part time as her priority now are her two children. And lastly this is for my maternal grandmother, who from an early age taught me the importance of discipline and devotion.

[1] Source: www.mapofindia.com

[2] Three of the world’s largest surviving banking institutions’ operations in India (JP Morgan, HSBC and UBS) are headed by women. Fidelity Asset management, PWC and rating agency Crisil are other examples of organizations with women at the helm. Indian banking institutions such as RBI and ICICI have had women steering them for a long time now and in that respect are a global rarity.
[3] Jim Brown, Agape Press, November 14, 2005

Two new studies indicate parents might want to reconsider sending their children to daycare or preschool. In one study, Stanford University and University of California researchers found that children who spend more than six hours a day in center-based care outside the home showed poor social skills. According to the researchers, the children in the investigation showed "diminished levels of cooperation, sharing, motivated engagement in classroom tasks, and greater aggression. And in another study, this one conducted by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, a researcher found that kids who spent long hours in daycare and preschool exhibited "poorer work habits and poorer social skills through third grade." These children, according to the study, tended more than others to have trouble concentrating and completing their school work.

[4] Source: Sudha Murty’s Autobiography: “In 1981 Murty wanted to start Infosys. He had a vision and zero capital…initially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting into business. We did not have any business background .. Moreover we were living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I didn’t want to rock the boat. But Murty was passionate about creating good quality software. I decided to support him. Typical of Murty, he just had a dream and no money. So I gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy day, without his knowledge and told him, this is all I have. Take it. I give you three years sabbatical leave. I will take care of the financial needs of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you have only three years!”

To My Friends

Over the last few days I have tried to define friendship and have always fallen short of words. Many a great writers and poets have written about this unique relationship, however, no one has been able to render it the requisite justice. I am not sure if it can ever be expressed in entirety, what this beautiful equation brings to each person’s life.

They say that chance makes families while choice makes friends. I am not sure if that is true, as it were not my conscious selections that bloomed into my most precious friendships. In fact I think I have been uniquely lucky in the fact that kind and gentle souls crossed my life path and decided to grant me the honour of their companionship.

It has not always been camaraderie in proximity. My closest friends, in fact, are on continents other than mine. I do not see them more than once or maximum twice in a year. But it is these individuals who I count on in times of need and who have cherished my successes more than I myself. Similarly it is enough for me to read an email, a text message or hear their voice on the phone and I can tell what is their state of mind is. It is their agony which hurts me more and their troubles can make me forget mine. And it is the thought of their absence from my life that troubles me the most.

It is not months or years that have created the bonds that are so very special to me today; it is a unique connection, an appreciative understanding of the actual person behind the name. It is the implicit faith on either side that a truthful opinion or an honest emotion will not be spurned or snapped at. I am humbled by the gift that I have received from these absolutely fantastic human beings. It does not matter whether they reside in America, Europe, Africa or India. They know who they are and they know I am indebted to them. God bless them all.

Colour Blindness

We see the white, the black and the brown. And then we judge.

God must then be colour blind. He sees no colour and judges no one......

Cain and Able?

The current economic crisis has prompted US Presidential candidate John McCain to make some very powerful statements. My favourite is the following:

"I warned two years ago that this situation was deteriorating and unacceptable," McCain said. "And the old-boy network and the corruption in Washington is directly involved and one of the causes of this financial crisis that we're in today. And I know how to fix it and I know how to get things done."

My question is, Sir if you do know how to fix it, what is stopping you from sharing the wisdom with the senior echelons of the global financial industry. Mr. Bernanke and Paulson notwithstanding, I am sure that the average American worker who you so vociferously proclaim to be the best in the world will be eternally grateful!

Now if you, the Americans were thinking if you could indeed vote for him, read the following:

"We need to set up a 9/11 Commission in order to get to the bottom of this and get it fixed, and act to clean up this corruption… They've violated the social contract that capitalism and the citizen have, and we can't ever let this happen again. I'll make sure it never happens again."

I am beginning to think that this guy might be a bigger entertainer than George Bush. Does capitalism have a social contract? And as far as his promise to ensure that this catastrophe is not repeated goes, well Sir, with all due respect I am sure you are not the only one with that vow. Global regulators have already started working towards that. Oops! You came with that wish a day too late!

Anything other trick that you can pull out of your hat today?

Beginning of the End

The City was not the same today. There was somber silence all around. Market forces had prevailed, the Fed had retreated and Lehman Brothers was laid to rest. Merrill Lynch, the largest US broker, agreed to forsake its independence in order to survive; albeit never again to be the same bull it used to be. AIG is on life support systems and Washington Mutual is fighting to live.

Two days and the world has changed. All the global financial innovation, the seemingly cavernous balance sheets and an opportunity of a life time to gain assets at deep discounts could not prevent this disaster. A look within and everyone saw their own domestic mess. It was too daunting a task to then take on an entity whose transactions cannot be understood or valued. Smug bankers who love to gloat about their deals and paychecks were left speechless and pay less. Some ironic justice on a rare bright, beautiful and sunny September morning in London.

While the US financial industry is licking its wounds, Europe should be ready for the coming onslaught and be prepared. It is not going to be fun ride from here on and there are a lot of hard lessons to be learnt. I only hope that unlike LTCM, Russian crisis and the dot com bust this tragedy is not short lived in the memory of the world. I hope it teaches bankers, corporates and the wider financial industry to control greed and the unnecessary aggression.

Canary Wharf is not the same tonight. There are no waiting cars outside the buildings that house the bulge bracket survivors. More floors are in darkness than usual and there is no one walking home late at night. The tube station is eerily quiet. It seems as if everyone and everything is pensive, except for the Reuters screen showcasing the tanking share market – a mocking reminder of what we have brought upon ourselves. Will we ever learn?

The Unsatiated Hunger

It happened once again yesterday. A middle aged corporate executive met me for an official meeting but did not see a professional, instead saw a woman who his manhood had given the birthright to hit on. I am not sure at what point in the meeting did I realize what was really happening but I do know that the discomfort had set in early on. His mere gaze was making me feel creepy. His smirks were sending unpleasant vibes. His handshake at the end did it all. The pervert refused to let go of my hand. With four other people in the room, he had the guts to be so blatant while I on the other hand was meek enough to wiggle out my hand, walk out of that office and not utter a word.

I was seething with anger, was frustrated with my own reaction and to some extent felt exploited. I had to talk to let the steam out with someone who would understand, someone who I trust. So I called baloo. “Not all of them are swines. Sorry you have to meet them but keep going on”, said my friend and I decided to bury the episode. While on the face of it I have buried the episode I am still thinking about it and wondering if I did something to elicit that behavior. Rationality tells me that I am a complete idiot to hold myself even remotely responsible and yet the violated me feels maybe I do need to partake some of the blame. Just the thought of it makes me feel sick in the pit of my stomach. I also know that it is my word against that of this hungry man and hence there is not much I can do. So maybe I should just forget it all like a nightmare.

What happened with me was minor and trivial compared to the agony of molested and/or raped women. Their trauma is not easily assuaged. Yet the society (eastern and western) often neglects their suffering and deems them partially accountable. Take the case of the 25-year old rape victim in the UK who was told that her compensation would be reduced 25% as she had been drinking before the assault. It took a lawyer to point out that drinking was in no form or fashion an invitation for exploitation. The girl ultimately received the compensation in entirety, however, the intermediate verdict did the work of salt in the wounds; ensuring that any healing of the scars would be more aggravating.

In a number of countries sexual assault is considered an offense only if penetration happens or in case the physical association occurs without consent. What about the cases where there is no intercourse but the forced foreplay itself inhibits the woman from seeking sexual intimacy in the future? What about marital rape or instances where the woman gives in to physical intimacy only to save her own life? And why is it that the woman who is the victim needs to answer all the difficult questions, face the embarrassment and further expose her humiliation for evidence?

The feeling of being victimized, extended emotional and physical exposure, insensitive dealings of the law enforcement authorities and the attitude of the society prevents majority of the women from speaking out about sexual abuse that they have been subjected to. The ordeal ferments within causing confidence issues and emotional imbalances. With time the anguish only worsens and the woman suffers in silence while the perpetrator goes about leading a normal life probably inflicting pain on more innocent women who cross his path.

What can satisfy this hunger of men? Is it unlimited flow of the female body in varied shapes and sizes at their beck and call? Is it easy access to anything and everything that can be associated with sex? Or is it the other extreme of starving men completely of any female association? Or should every accused be simply castrated to set an example for the others of his kind? There needs to be a solution and there needs to be more sympathy. In a society where we fight for the rights of animals, we need to find some way to restore respect for the gender responsible for sustaining human life.